I have been thinking about this post for a while but when a dear sister in Christ asked me to blog about this the other day, I knew the Spirit was prompting me to move forward.
When I started running, it was kind of on a whim; completing a half marathon became one of the things to check off my bucket list before I turned the big 5-0. I also started running at a very difficult time in our life. Barrie had lost his job; it was the phone call no wife ever wants or expects to get. We had no idea what we would do; we had 5 kids, a mortgage, debt, etc. We realized very early on in our relationship that God has always been faithful in providing for us, financially. There have been countless times over the almost 20 years that we have been together that God has shown us he is Provider. There was one time right after we had gotten married that we went on a camping trip up north, Reggae on the River. We left home with only about 20 bucks, which was probably not even enough money for gas! As we got out of the car to go find our camp site, there was a wad of rolled up cash on the ground! No wallet, no anything. We waited to see if someone would come back for it, and no one did! We frequently remember this time and chuckle; I was not even a believer at that time. During the time Barrie was home, I started to run as a kind of escape. Within 6 weeks, Barrie was back to work and God had taught us some difficult life lessons, but He had remained faithful in providing for us.
I continued to run and signed up for my first half marathon in September of that year. I had no idea how the Lord would use my running as a way to strengthen my relationship with Him. I would cruise along with Blake in the baby jogger listening to music; sometimes the music was secular and sometimes Christian. When I ran by myself, I started to realize that God put the right music on for what I needed at that very moment. At first, I would become annoyed with the slow songs that would fill my ear buds, but then as I listened to the words, I would sometimes laugh out loud at the appropriateness of the message the lyrics were sending. Another sister in Christ recently referred to me as “God Powered”; I like that term. It makes me feel like I am invincible, unstoppable; it makes me feel like I am able to accomplish anything that I set my mind to do with His blessing (maybe like running 12 Half Marathons this year!). When the Lord and I are tracking, all is good in my little running world. God speaks to me through music and verses quite frequently, and I love that He gives me constant reinforcement that I am doing His work; I run to bring all the glory to Him!
I learned very early on when I started running that so much of this sport is mental. I read something the other day that said “A runner’s most difficult step is the first step out the front door.” This rings so true with me! I have also learned that I am a very picky runner, maybe I might call it high maintenance if I was being honest. I have never run on a treadmill, not that I wouldn’t love to have one, but I do not have access to one. Point being, all of my runs are outside. You will frequently hear me complain about the elements; it’s too windy, too hot, too cold, too wet, too rainy, blah, blah. My perfect running conditions would probably be about 54 degrees and slightly foggy; great if you live in Morgan Hill near the coast, but not so ideal when I travel for races (especially for my next race in Florida; I am already whining about the humidity!).
Anyway, my original point was that it is a very mental sport, and as a believer, I started to realize all the junk floating around in my head was not just my insecurities. There is a war going on every time I run, especially right before I run a race. The battle going on for my running abilities is very spiritual. Enter the Devil; Satan is the great deceiver. There is nothing nice about the things he puts in my head, trying to fill my mind with doubt and making me so insecure at times that I feel like I have never run 13.1 miles in my life! Prior to my last half, Tinkerbell, I was having serious doubts in my ability as a runner. I felt like I was undeserving of being in the first corral. I felt like I wasn’t going to be able to finish the race. When talking to Barrie on the phone before I went to sleep that night, I expressed my concerns and doubts, which sound so stupid and silly, but as I started to cry, I think he knew I was really serious. The Devil was getting to me; he was using his tactics to get at me and bring me down. Barrie reassured me that God would not possibly be the one putting those thoughts in my head and that there is always a spiritual battle going on. As we said our good-byes and I turned in for the night, I started to pray. One of the verses we had read just that week was the Ask, Seek, and Knock verse. Matthew 7:7 says, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” I prayed that God would give me my best race ever. I also prayed that He would bless my morning and fill it with musical lyrics that would make me God powered. I had a horrible sleep that night, but in the moments I lay awake, I continued to pray that He would just bless my time.
That morning, as my BFF, Tracy, and I parted our ways, the doubt started to creep back in. I am not a very social person, and one of the most difficult things that I have had to overcome in racing is entering into my corral by myself. I made my way toward the front third of my corral and sat down on the curb to stretch and try to stay warm. Immediately, an Asian woman next to me started chatting away with me. She was a wonderful distraction and made the time pass quickly. You couldn’t even begin to imagine what her name was . . . Grace! I almost laughed out loud when she told me! She was a doctor at Kaiser and extremely entertaining. I also met two other women, sisters, from Ventura (12,000 people racing, and I saw them at the end of the race! Coincidence?!).
As I started to run, the miles flew by, and as many of you know, I did have my fastest race ever. I have never really prayed to God so boldly. He wants us to pray that way. I know that He doesn’t always answer our prayers right away, His timing is not the same as ours, but He gave me an answer to my prayer on that day!
Prayer and scripture are what gives me my drive and reassurance that I am doing the right thing. God frequently speaks to me while I am running by myself. Most of the time I am running with my phone, just in case one of the kids’ four schools happens to call, and so KLove is on. During races, I run with just my iPod shuffle which has a very specific playlist and almost 95% of what I listen to now while running is Christian music! I know that faster tempo music helps me run faster, but I like the way that God is choosing my playlist; sometimes He does give me a very fast song when I feel like I am starting to wear down. Often times, He is just asking me to listen to His words.
Here is a sampling of my current playlist:
Move, Mercy Me
Carry Me, Josh Wilson
You are I Am, Casting Crowns
If It’s Love, Train (Barrie’s song to me<3)
My Hope is in You, Aaron Shust
Marvelous Light, Charlie Hall
Steal My Show, Toby Mac
Follow You Follow Me, Genesis
The Stand, Kristian Stanfill
Me Without You, Toby Mac
Crazy Beautiful, Chasen
Gold, Britt Nicole
After All (Holy), David Crowder Band
God Gave Me You, Dave Barnes
Stronger, Mandisa
Waiting for Tomorrow, Mandisa
Good Morning, Mandisa
Remind Me Who I am, Jason Gray
God’s Not Dead (Roaring like a Lion), Newsboys
Your Love Never Fails, Newsboys
Save Your Life, Newsboys
Reach, Peter Furler
I don’t always hear every song during every run, but I trust that I hear what I need to hear at that time. I think my Christian music helps to keep the Devil out of my head!
The other thing I do when running is recite some of my favorite bible verses in my head. Here are some of the verses that I use to inspire me and remind me that God is bigger than me, my current run, and He will crush the devil!
I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer;
my God is my rock in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my
stronghold. Psalm 18:1-2
but those who hope is the Lord renew their strength, They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run
and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Isaiah 40:29
And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called
according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways
acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ
Jesus. Philippians 3:14
Well, now you all know; yes, the devil can really get me down! He has a way of knowing my weaknesses and will do anything he can to wreck me. I know that with prayer and God putting His loving arms and hedge of protection around me, I can and will do ALL things that I set out to accomplish! I am God Powered (it helps to have a little sparkle, too!)
mama koala on the run 